10 Things to Know to Help Your Children thru Your Divorce

While divorce is never a pleasant thing, a divorce with children is an exponentially more difficult process.  Your children will be affected by the fact that their parents are separating.  However, here are ten tips to help soften the impact on your children:

1. All children are not created equal - there is no cookie cutter method to helping a child thru a divorce;
2. Don't burden a child with your own anger - your child doesn't need to know that your spouse had an affair, etc;
3. Emphasize to your child that he or she is not the reason for the divorce - children often blame themselves.  Make sure to they are understand they had nothing to do with it;
4. Allow your child to show emotion - don't hesitate to seek professional help if you feel your child could benefit;
5. Let your child know that he or she is your first priority;
6. Don't use your child as a bargaining tool;
7. Don't use your child as a substitute spouse - your child cannot fill your ex-spouses shoes.  Your child needs to spend more time with his friends and family members even when you are lonely and no one else is around;
8. Keep your judgmental attitude to yourself - if your ex starts dating again don't make degrading remarks about his or her new love interest;
9. Don't be a Disneyland dad (or mom) - don't attempt to buy your child's love;
10. Most of the time, all children want and need is love.

Jason Pistiner, Esq.
SINGER PISTINER, P.C.
602-264-0110
jp@singerpistiner.com
www.singerpistiner.com

How to Keep Your Ex-Spouse from Ruining Your Credit

Divorce certainly leaves a person in worse financial shape than they were prior to a divorce.  The reality is you end up with approximately half the income and assets that you had previously.

As a result, divorce is one of the most common causes of bankruptcy.  Here are some strategies for helping you keep your finances in good shape after a divorce:

1. Get a copy of your credit report.  Make sure to check it for inaccuracies as errors on your report can lower your credit score and increase your interest rates.  You may soon be needing to take out a loan for a new car or house.  
2. Separate your credit from your ex.  This means you need to close any joint accounts that you have.  Cancel any credit cards that are in both of your names.  You should seek an order in your divorce that any loan associated with any  property awarded to your spouse be refinanced to get you off the loan.
3. Examine your debt.  Take a good luck at your debt and your new monthly income and determine whether you can meet your debt obligations.  If you can't, its time to examine your monthly expenses to see where you can save some money.  Otherwise, you may end up filing for bankruptcy which will stay on your credit report for several years.
4. If you file bankruptcy, immediately start rebuilding your credit.  As soon as your bankruptcy is completed you'll want to take out some credit cards and put minimal amounts on them every month and pay them off in full every month to rebuild your credit history.  Many lenders like to loan to post-bankruptcy individuals because they know you cannot file bankruptcy again for eight years.

Jason Pistiner, Esq.
SINGER PISTINER, P.C.
602-264-0110
jp@singerpistiner.com
www.singerpistiner.com

In Arizona Divorce Do I Have an Interest in My Spouse's Separate Property?

As a general rule in an Arizona divorce or legal separation, the parties are awarded an equitable distribution of the community property and each party is awarded their respective separate property (to the extent they have any).

Property acquired during marriage is as a default community property.  Separate property is typically defined as property obtained prior to marriage or obtained during marriage via gift or inheritance.  While this separate property remains the separate property of a spouse, there is Arizona case law which permits the community to gain an equitable lien in the separate property of the other spouse.

A typical instance in which the community may gain an equitable lien in the separate property of a spouse is when one spouse mixes community time and labor with their separate funds.   For example, you may have one spouse whose primary business during marriage is to take his sole and separate funds and engage in hard money lending.  He spends all of his working day engaged in this activity.  Under this scenario, the community has an equitable lien in the profits and business because of the community labor that was involved.

"Arizona courts have long agreed that the results of a spouse's labor are community property."  Rueschenberg v. Rueschenberg, 219 Ariz. 249, 252, 196 P.2d 852, 855 (2008).

The Court in Rueschenberg went on to say, "[W]here either spouse is engaged in a business whose capital is the separate property of such spouse, the profits of the business are either community or separate in accordance with whether they are the result of the individual toil and application of the spouse, or the inherent qualities of the business itself."  Id. at 257, 860.


Jason Pistiner, Esq.
SINGER PISTINER, P.C.
602-264-0110
jp@singerpistiner.com
www.singerpistiner.com

Factors Arizona Courts Look at in Deciding Child Relocation Issues

In the last year I have seen a great upswing in Arizona child relocation issues.  Perhaps this is a result of our economy and the fact that a lot of people are in job transition.

Arizona has a statute, A.R.S. 25-480,  that deals directly with the child relocation issue.  

The statute comes into play when a parent wants to relocate with a child either out of the state or more than 100 miles away.

In determining whether to grant a request for relocation, the Court focuses on what is the best interests of the child(ren). 

The factors include:

1. Those set out in ARS 25-403 (best interest factors in determining custody);
2. Whether the relocation is being made or opposed in good faith and not to interfere with or to frustrate the relationship between the child and the other parent;
3. The prospective advantage of the move for improving the general quality of life for the custodial parent or for the child;
4. The likelihood that the parent with whom the child will reside after the relocation will comply with parenting time orders;
5. Whether the relocation will allow a realistic opportunity for parenting time with each parent;
6. The extent to which moving or not moving will affect the emotional, physical or developmental needs of the child;
7. The motive of the parents and the validity of the reasons given for moving or opposing the move including the extent to which either parent may intend to gain a financial advantage regarding continuing child support obligations; and
8. The potential effect of relocation on the child's stability.

Overall, it is has been my experience that the Court is predisposed against relocation, mostly because it typically greatly reduces the parenting time of the non moving parent.  As such, I counsel clients attempting to relocate that to be successful they need to have some real compelling reasons for the move and a plan to facilitate ample parenting time with the other parent.

Jason Pistiner, Esq.
SINGER PISTINER, P.C.
602-264-0110
jp@singerpistiner.com
www.singerpistiner.com

Statistics Regarding Children and Divorce

Here are some interesting statistics that I found regarding children and divorce:

1. 40% of American children are being raised without their fathers.
2. Studies in the early 1980's showed that children in repeat divorces earned lower grades and their peers rated them as less pleasant to be around.
3. Teenagers in single-parent families and in blended families are three times more likely to need psychological help within a given year.
4. Compared to children from homes disrupted by death, children from divorced homes have more psychological problems.
5. Following divorce, children are fifty percent more likely to develop health problems than two parent families.
6. Seventy percent of long-term prison inmates grew up in broken homes.
7. Children of divorced parents are roughly two times more likely to drop out of high school than their peers who benefit from living with parents who did not divorce.

* Initial Source - http://www.marriage-success-secrets.com/statistics-about-children-and-divorce.html

Jason Pistiner, Esq.
SINGER PISTINER, P.C.
602-264-0110
jp@singerpistiner.com
www.singerpistiner.com

Should Parent's Lose Custody of Super Obese Kids?

A recent commentary in the Journal of the American Medical Assocation stated that it would be more ethical to put super obese kids into temporary foster than them have obesity surgery.

Dr. David Ludwig, an obesity specialist at Harvard-affiliated Children's Hospital Boston, said it would be in the best interest of the children to get them help that for whatever reason their parents can't provide. 

There are approximatley 2 million U.S. children that are extremely obese.  Extreme obesity could lead to type 2 diabetes, breathing difficulties and liver problems that could kill them by age 30, said Dr. Ludwig.

In 2009, an article in Pediatrics made similar arguments, advocating for temporary removal from the custody of parents "when all reasonable alternative options have been exhausted."

Will obesity arguments now have an impact in Arizona child custody disputes?   Based upon the statute that the Court looks at in determining custody, it really boils down to the what is in the best interest of the child(ren).  Therefore, it could be argued that a demonstrated failure by one parent to provide proper nutrition or exercise to the child(ren) when they are in his or her care, and a resulting severe weight issue with the child(ren), might form the basis for one party being awarded primary physical custody over another.


Jason Pistiner, Esq.
SINGER PISTINER, P.C.
602-264-0110
jp@singerpistiner.com
www.singerpistiner.com

Divorcing Parents in Massachusetts to be Prevented from Having Sex?

Massachusetts is considering what I believe to be a ridiculous bill regarding the rights of divorcing parents to engage in sexual relations.  The article appeared in the Boston Herald and the text of it is presented here:

"Custodial parents caught up in contentious divorces would need a judge’s nod to date or carry on a sexual relationship inside their own home under a bill Beacon Hill pols will take up this week.

Wrentham Selectman Robert Leclair said his bill is meant to prevent domestic violence and shield children while the divorce is under way. “It’s not intended to abridge the rights of anybody,” he said. “If they want to have an extra-marital affair, just get away from the home.”

The bill, which lawmakers will hear Wednesday, would bar custodial parents from “conducting a dating or sexual relationship within the home” until the divorce is settled.

“It could go that far if the courts found it detrimental to the children,” said Leclair, who said he had a bitter divorce. Leclair is the former president of Fathers United for Equal Justice, which disbanded in the 1990s. But he’s not earning much support from similar fathers-rights groups. Ned Holstein of Fathers and Families called the bill a distraction from the shared parenting bill — creating a legal assumption of equal custody rights — that lawmakers also will take up Wednesday.

“By and large, family courts have washed their hands of who’s sleeping with whom,” said Holstein.
State Sen. Richard Ross sponsored the bill for his constituent, but has taken no position on it. Leclair has submitted it repeatedly in recent years to no avail."

http://bostonherald.com/news/politics/view.bg?articleid=1338272


Jason Pistiner, Esq.
SINGER PISTINER, P.C.
602-264-0110
jp@singerpistiner.com
www.singerpistiner.com